It’s OK to live a cluttered life (there are many things worse).

I have just emerged from the basement, where I am making a valiant effort to de-clutter.  I almost drowned in a sea of game pieces, puzzle pieces, stuffed animals, dress-up clothes, wooden blocks, trains, dolls, legos, and everything in between. I have lived to tell the tale, but the clutter is not conquered. I would say I made a dent in it.

Minimalism. We see it talked about all over the place. And hey, I get it. Materialism has taken over America. Americans seem to live to get more things, and then need time to take care of those things, and then need time to get rid of things, and then end up wanting more things, and working on getting them…. Like I said, I get it. Life is about much more than material goods.musicAs a concept, minimalism is quite attractive to me. I’m not against it, necessarily.  But is it true that we should all be striving constantly towards the goal of living an uncluttered life? Is it true that minimalism is the key to living life to the fullest and richest extent? Should my children play with only one decorative basket of handmade toys every day? Should my walls should be decorated with a single burlap pennant banner that says “Simplify”? Should my kitchen have open shelving with a total of six plates and one ornamental pitcher stored there? I mean, we’ve all seen the pictures, right?

There are only so many goals we can strive towards at once in life, and I’m just not sure that living with less clutter makes it anywhere near the top of my true priority list right now.crayon shelfThere are ten of us under one roof in this household at the present time. And the truth is, people = clutter.

People need clothes, they need food, they need blankets, they need diapers, they need cosmetics, they need coats/hats/gloves/boots, they need sleds for winter and bathing suits for summer, they need things to occupy them (toys), they need to be educated (books/papers/pencils), they need shoes, they need little treasures gotten from here or there, they need gifts, they need their artwork displayed on the refrigerator, they need sports equipment, they need cardboard boxes to cut up and make playhouses out of– lots and lots of things. (Of course I am using the word “need” to include things that are not actually life-and-death essentials.) Organize all that stuff and call it what you will, but it’s still clutter.

{Only the somewhat picturesque clutter at our house is pictured here. I doubt you want to see pics of our ugly clutter. And I’m not sure “picturesque clutter” is even a thing.}booksWe work hard to keep things tidy and organized.  We fight the clutter war valiantly. We take bags to the Goodwill. We throw away plenty of junk, as our faithful trash men would testify. (A few weeks ago the trash men literally picked up a dresser– a cheap one that was broken beyond repair. I was doubtful they would pick it up, but they actually did.) But, in spite of all that, life is just cluttered right now. There is no way around it if we plan to actually live life here in our house.

I love a tidy, organized, and uncluttered environment as much as the next person. As homemakers we desire to keep our nest in order. But the problem I have (and I suspect I am not alone in this) is that any clean and uncluttered environment cannot and will not survive when my crew descends upon it. From the littlest to the biggest, this is one active crew! Coming and going, creating, learning, playing, eating and sleeping, all under this roof, from sun-up to sun-down and beyond.shoesI looked up the definition of clutter. “A collection of things lying about in an untidy mass.” I read it to Steve.

“Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Pretty much defines our daily life,” I groaned.

After a moment he replied, “Yup. And another word that defines our daily life would be clatter.” Clutter and clatter– definitely the stage we are in. The two C’s!

So I am here to tell us all, today, that it is ok. Clutter is ok! Living a cluttered life is not a sign that you are somehow not all that you should be. 

Not that I’m really an authority on the matter, mind you, but to be fair, neither is the next blogger who wants to tell me Ten Things I should do Every Evening to Eliminate Clutter and Reduce Stress the next morning. Ten things? You mean in addition to brushing teeth, and putting pajamas on toddlers, and chasing kids to bed, and rocking babies, and hopefully remembering to thaw the ground beef, and talking to my husband about the day? Yikes. (I did recently see an article that was giving the advice of de-cluttering your home at the pace of one thing per day. I think I might be able to handle that. Might.)scissorsHere are some things that are worse than living a cluttered life–

Losing our peace because of clutter. No doubt I am a work-in-progress in this department. But the truth is, my inner peace (if it’s real, true peace) must come from a much deeper source than the state of my environment.

Losing our joy because of clutter. [See the point above.]

Valuing an uncluttered environment more than we value people. People are more important than things. People are more important than me constantly stressing out about all the clutter. Enjoy the people, invest in the people, clutter or no clutter. Some of the most dynamic people I have known, truthfully, have lived in cluttered homes and worked in cluttered offices.  Not necessarily dynamic in the sense of getting the most stuff checked off their list every day. I mean dynamic as in connecting with people, impacting people’s lives.

One of the great things about children is that they don’t mind clutter one little bit. They don’t even notice it. Funny thing though, they do seem to notice if mom is stressed out and unhappy.

Needing to control everything. There are many things we can’t control, and many things we actually don’t need to control. Relax. It’s completely fine if things are less than perfect, less than what they could be. Totally ok! I say this as someone who can be pretty controlling by nature. God has taught me some big lessons along the way, and one of those lessons has been stop trying to control everything.

Not being willing to sacrifice what we prefer for the good of others. Fulfilling this calling of motherhood/wifehood/homemaker-hood means that I can’t always have things the way I want them. Giving up what I want for the good of others basically sums up the Christian life in general. Making sacrifices isn’t always about the “big” stuff. Sometimes it’s little stuff. Sometimes it’s as simple as keeping a good attitude while I trip over everybody’s stuff, clean out stuff, or just ignore the stuff and go rake a leaf pile with the kids. And then coming inside to the cluttered house, peeling off the hats and coats, enjoying hot chocolate, chocolatey smiles, and making memories of happy times in the home.

My wishes to you for an abundantly blessed holiday season spent with those you love, along with whatever clutter and clatter that may entail for you! God Bless! leaves1

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If Mama Ain’t Thankful

She stood there smiling at me, in the basement of the church where we both were visiting. It was a genuine smile, a relaxed smile, not a forced “I have to smile at you because I’m the evangelist’s wife” smile. She had three or four small children in tow, and they were climbing on everything in sight, as were mine. We had just met. “Wow, it must really be tough,” I remarked. “Traveling full time with these little ones! Good for you. I don’t know how you do it, going from church to church, ministering with your husband and always being on the road as a family. I’m sure it’s hard!”edit2She kept smiling that real smile. And then she said, “You know what I’ve found out, as we travel from church to church? Everybody has a hard life. We all serve God where He has called us, and it’s not easy for anyone. I have nothing to complain about compared to some of the people I’ve met in our travels.” She didn’t say it harshly at all, just matter-of-factly. I nodded, as the truth of her words sank in. (So true! Why do I let myself fall into complaints and pity parties so easily?) We went on to chat about our children and the ministries we each were involved in.

How blessed her children are, I thought, growing up under the wings of that grateful mama.  If I could see them in ten years, I imagine that her non-complaining spirit will have been caught by those young ones. Because, if mama complains, everybody complains.

If mama ain’t thankful, ain’t nobody thankful.edit4I used to hear this song when I was growing up:

Let’s have an attitude of gratitude,
Let’s fill our hearts with praise!
Thank you Lord we’ll say, to whatever comes our way.
And with our attitude of gratitude,
Our lives will tell our friends
That something special happens
When Jesus lives within!edit3Guess who the singer of that song was? It was a beautiful lady with a song on her lips, a bright smile on her face, and a clear testimony of God’s faithfulness and goodness to her. Was it somebody whose life was perfect, who had it all together, and just had so much to be thankful for that she sailed through her days, singing songs for kids about having an Attitude of Gratitude? No, not quite. The singer of that song was… Joni Eareckson Tada. I’ve read her story, and it’s full of pain and difficult times beyond what most of us could imagine. Maybe you’ve read it too. _MG_0025An orange folder resides on my bookshelf, marked on the front by a sharpie: “Walking in the Beauty of Holiness: Ladies’ Bible Study.” It’s filled with notes that I took during an eight-week Bible study taught by a dear friend of mine a few years ago. Walking in the Beauty of Holiness? That sounds so “spiritual” and must have involved hours of prayer and Bible memorization, right? Actually, it did not. Do you know what main thing I took away from that study?

Four words: “Stop complaining. Be thankful!” Such a major spiritual lesson wrapped up in such a simple truth.SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESSo especially during this upcoming season of gratitude (and actually, all the time!), I want to remember that a grateful spirit does not come naturally to anyone. Complaining DOES come naturally, to both mamas and children alike. It’s so easy to get into a habit of complaining. If needed, let’s stop ourselves mid-sentence. Let’s lead the way ladies, and set the tone in our homes: a tone of gratitude and thankfulness. Some days are joyful. Some days are tough. Whatever myriad of big or small troubles may come across our path–  let’s keep an Attitude of Gratitude. May our hearts, minds, and lips reflect back to God all the praise He so rightfully deserves.

“The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.” Psalm 145:9 fall tree with filters 2

 

 

How to Begin Training Good Workers (spoiler: Don’t say “Go clean your room”)

An adorable little freeloader enters your world. First, he creates mounds of laundry and dirty diapers. Not long after, dirty dishes begin to multiply. Then suddenly, the entire kitchen floor becomes sticky and grimy in 1.9 seconds of your back being turned. Books and knick knacks litter the floor, because your little freeloader has also become a little ten-month-old tornado. Continue reading “How to Begin Training Good Workers (spoiler: Don’t say “Go clean your room”)”

Golden Tones of Late Summer (with kids crying in the background)

The loveliness of the Shenandoah Valley welcomes the change of season a little more each day; days of late summer mixed in with days of early fall. Katelyn and I have been enjoying the scenery on the drive to and from the farm where she and Ethan work on a butchering crew.  So we took a drive out that way the other day, to try to capture some of it on her camera. Yellows and golds are some of my favorite color tones, both inside my home and outside of it. Goldenrod may be Continue reading “Golden Tones of Late Summer (with kids crying in the background)”

God of the Very Small

{I wrote this several years ago. The photos were taken by Katelyn during a family day at the Blue Ridge Parkway, although not the same day referenced in this article.}

“Look at this, Mom!” My daughter ran up and handed me a lacy green fern leaf. We both gazed at it for a moment, a delicate and detailed specimen.

Our family was enjoying a day together with friends on the Blue Ridge Parkway. We had just gazed Continue reading “God of the Very Small”

Lessons of the Field- Part 1

Such a glorious time of year; plants of all types growing and blooming all around. Across the road from our house in the farmer’s field, some kind of golden grain waves in the wind. Don’t you love seeing a fresh new plant burst forth out of the soil? It’s a miracle, and I’ve never met a person who didn’t enjoy the process of planting a seed and watching it grow. It’s a good time to pause and consider this question: “In order for these plants to grow and bloom or bear fruit, what has to happen first?” Think about something Jesus said: “Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a kernel of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.” (John 12:24)
Continue reading “Lessons of the Field- Part 1”

One More Year. Or, in the process of letting go.

Graduation season. A familiar time of year; we send a card or attend a ceremony and offer our congratulations. Only, this year, it’s different. The winds of time are blowing and I constantly hear a little chorus in my head, “One more year, one more year, one more year.”

How clearly I remember Continue reading “One More Year. Or, in the process of letting go.”

Keeping the Joy in Mothering – Part 1

A young mother of three little ones recently asked me, “How do you keep the joy in mothering?” Ah yes… such a question.
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Those days when you go from changing a dirty diaper, to breaking up an argument between the toddler and the four-year-old, to nursing, to looking for shoes, to getting a snack, to nursing again, to wondering where your little boy found those knee-length pink socks he is wearing, to trying in vain to find a clean kitchen towel, to helping the kids do something creative and then wondering why you did it because it only entertained the kids for about 3.25 minutes Continue reading “Keeping the Joy in Mothering – Part 1”