Micah is a thoughtful child and he has a way of saying things that my other kids didn’t necessarily verbalize. Here are three recent little exchanges that give us glimpses into the heart and mind of a four-(soon to be five)-year-old boy.
We have a little section of wall in the hallway where the kids mark their height from time to time. We were looking at it a few days ago and remarking over the growth of each one. Me: “Wow Micah, you are getting so big!” Micah: “Well, I don’t want to grow up and get married. I’m never going to get married!” Me: “Why not?” Micah: “Because then I will have to go away from you. I’m never going away from you!”
We sent off our oldest son, again, this morning. It never gets any easier. We all stood in a circle and held hands. I had my oldest son on one side and my youngest on the other. After the prayer two boys tried to barricade the door so the oldest one couldn’t leave. Tears were shed and my mother heart was happy and sad and worried and joyful all at the same time.
On this Memorial Day, I am remembering the mothers. Mothers who stood and waved and watched their boys go off– to war.
“The one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.” Romans 12:8
Showing mercy is pretty much the business of motherhood. Here are two definitions of mercy that seem SO fitting when applied to the everyday life of a mom:
Compassionate treatment of those in distress.
Compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one’s power.
Don’t you love that… “those in distress”? Sounds all. too. familiar.
Question: Hi Jennifer, Could I ask you for some parenting advice about dealing with sibling squabbling? This is a new problem I am just starting to have in the last few weeks. The girls are just bickering constantly. It’s like they can’t be in the same room together without fighting. It’s just non-stop pettiness…
“She said I did a bad job on my chore.”
“She keeps moving my paper into her box.”
“I have more grapes than you do.”
“She glared at me.”
“I’m glad I didn’t get your chore.” etc etc etc etc.
I alternate between feeling like I need to referee each incident to deal with the problem-causer and try to teach good manners and virtue (We don’t say things to hurt others. We use a nice voice to talk to others. God wants us to be kind, etc.) and being overwhelmed and telling them I don’t want to hear about their bickering and they need to work it out (which they do not seem to have any ability to do). Any advice would be much appreciated!
Apparently I don’t take pictures of my children when they are squabbling, only when they are having angelic moments. So on this post we will picture angelic moments while we talk about squabbling.
Answer: As I’m sure you’ve realized, there isn’t a fix-it-all answer to this question. Squabbling between siblings is just an inherent part of mothering. There are, however, various approaches that can be taken at various times. I will list my ideas here in no particular order.
1.) You gotta nip it in the bud. (We don’t normally turn to Barney Fife for parenting advice, but in this case, he’s on to something.) This is probably the most effective approach, but the caveat is that it requires mom’s attention and listening ear, and the children need to be playing where mom can hear them. As soon as mom hears the first child mis-step in their behavior, she nips it. Continue reading “12 Strategies to Squelch Sibling Squabbling”→
At Joshua’s high school graduation, as I envisioned each child reaching this same milestone in quick succession, I remarked that the “dominoes were beginning to fall.” Steve replied, “Not dominoes. Arrows. Today the arrows are beginning to fly!”
I know he’s right, of course. They ARE arrows and it’s super exciting to watch them fly.
But I have to be honest, it sure does seem like dominoes at times. All of a sudden, I find myself looking around and thinking, “Where is everyone? Is this everyone I’m supposed to have?” Continue reading “I don’t mean to disagree with my husband”→
{I shared these words back in 2011, when speaking at an event for a gathering of mothers. I hope these words encourage you today. We had a break in the cold weather recently and Katelyn took these pictures of the girls in the pine needles and sunlight. Neither of these girls were yet born when I first shared these words.}
All of us here today have at least one thing in common, and that is that we are mothers. We have been privileged to bring at least one life in to the world, and the well-being of that little person has been completely committed to our care. It’s a miracle and an awesome privilege.
I am expecting my fifth child in just a few months. It’s a boy, which makes four boys with one girl right in the middle. I am thankful to God for blessing me with these children, and for ALL that He has taught me through it. I do not stand here today as a mother who “has it all together.” I am not a super-mom. Continue reading “Mom, You are Priceless (seeing yourself through the eyes of your child)”→
I know he’s right, of course. They ARE arrows and it’s super exciting to watch them fly.
Treasuring Home 