One More Year. Or, in the process of letting go.

Graduation season. A familiar time of year; we send a card or attend a ceremony and offer our congratulations. Only, this year, it’s different. The winds of time are blowing and I constantly hear a little chorus in my head, “One more year, one more year, one more year.”

How clearly I remember when he got his first little tricycle. He joyfully hopped on and whizzed down the church sidewalk, AWAY from me. I was left standing there and he was moving on. No cries of needing me at that moment, only excitement at his newfound independence. In that instant, I could feel a little breeze from the winds of time, but the future seemed so distant. Now, the future is almost here. One more year.

Already, he has one foot out of the nest. The door clicks softly in the wee hours of the morning as he heads out to work. Lights of his car flicker in the driveway at night, sometimes late. I can’t say that I’m enjoying this. Maybe no mother ever does. Yet, I would not hold him back. There is no alternative but to allow him the freedom to become his own man, to follow God’s calling on his life, and to step out into this great big world.

This has been a little bit forced upon me, I suppose. At times over the past few years when I would have chosen to stay a little closer by his side, I couldn’t. The needs of my many little ones clambering for my attention have allowed me no ability to hold on to my oldest. In this, I see God’s plan.

One more school year to spend our days together. One more year for him to be with the family for the full cycle of yearly events. Then, the next season will be upon us. The winds of time feel like a harsh wind at times, but I must release my arrows, one by one, when the time is right. I pray this wind will carry them high and far as they fulfill God’s plan.

I have loved watching him reach towards manhood. At this point, there’s not much reaching left to do. He’s basically there. Even though I could see it coming, still it comes as a surprise.

I miss him already. I’m glad we have one more year. I pray that we will always remain good friends and share our lives with each other, even when those winds blow him out the front door for longer than just a work day. I pray for plenty of coming and going, and in faith I believe they are friendly winds, because God has planned it all.

 

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